Nurse Angry is not a natural at orthopedics. But she will now give you 5 reasons to love and embrace it.

1. You don’t have to take all that many EKGs or urine samples.

Well, unless there are a lot of broken hips. Or old people who have fallen for mysterious reasons. At least you will see no overdoses or hemorrhoids, hey, look on the bright side!

2. It’s lively.

Patients are either in pain and screaming for relief, or they only sprained something and are so bored by waiting that they have to yell at the staff just to stay awake. Bonus points are given for being harassed by a patient’s friends, relatives or other members of staff. Orthopedic surgeons are not known for their tact and gentle ways, so get ready to duck if you ask a stupid question!

3. It’s very social, you get to see what it’s like to run a café and you get to spend a lot of time in the bathroom.

There are usually a lot of patients. That means a long wait for a lot of people who are not urgent cases. They get hungry. And if one little old lady gets a sandwich and a cup of coffee, EVERYONE wants one. Even the people who could walk to the cafeteria. And their families, friends, neighbors, whathaveyou. Then, everyone needs to pee.  EVERYONE.

Once Nurse Angry was in the ER with a sick friend and a patient called 911 (112 in Sweden) and told them she was at the hospital and nobody would take her to the bathroom. Nurse Angry took this person to the bathroom herself. Upon her return she told sick friend that no more than 20 minutes would go by before aforementioned patient needed to go again. Much to sick friend’s astonishment, she was right!

4. You learn to speak Orthopedic and it’s one of the few places people seem genuinely happy when you arrive with a tablet or a shot.

The downside is that until you do, you will get to think or say you’re not sure what it is, but the x-ray shows it’s definitely broken. And at Nurse Angry’s hospital only the practical nurses get to put on casts. We RN’s just run around with morphine all day long.

5. Orthopedics is usually relatively normal and you meet optimistic people.

No day in the ER would be complete without the guy running around in his underpants. Usually he’s there but isn’t an orthopedic patient. Ha ha!

In no other department do you so often meet patients who tell you with a straight face that they  paid for a half-hour of parking, have a puppy in the car, can only stay during their lunch hour, have a busload of people waiting to go to Oslo, that they fell down because they were drunk or that they can’t go home because their sprained body part hurts.

This is not an all-inclusive list. Feel free to add to it.

****Nurse Angry asks you to remember: If you are deathly ill  you will not spending a whole lot of time in the ER and you will not be in the orthopedic section anyway.  If you aren’t on the brink of death and are still conscious: bring a friend, some food and a good book. If you need to pee and need help to get there, the staff may take bribes of  Ben and Jerry’s Strawberry Cheesecake ice cream.

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