In the words of one of Nurse Angry’s closest friends, the inimitable Scratchy Jackson:

“Looks like meat. Could be cake. It’s meatcake!”

In this case, beetcake. Nurse Angry got a wild and crazy idea this Valentine’s Day; to surprise her family with a suitably colored homemade cake, baked with looooove (by the way, in Swedish it’s “lööööööööve'”. Or “kärlek”, you choose). She has been looking for an excuse to use a recipe which includes grated beets, and today was that day. Swedish recipe, but as it includes salt Nurse Angry assumes it was pilfered from some American cookbook as Swedish baked-goods seldom include salt. Sadly, said cake turned out more purple-brown than red, but even for Nurse Angry it’s the thought that counts.

Nurse Angry would now like to lead you through a tedious, step-by-step recipe with photos of every imaginable ingredient and utensil: Nurse Angry taking the butter out of the fridge, Nurse Angry inspecting the nutmeg grater for cleanliness, Nurse Angry chopping walnuts with Da Biggest, Meanest Knife In Da Kitchen, Nurse Angry using up all the available canola oil north of Copenhagen, and so forth. Fortunately, she does not have time to do this.

Nurse Angry tied her anti-beet apron on securely, turned on the radio, and started baking to Duke Ellington and scat-song of George Benson, among others.

The greasing of the baking pan went well until Nurse Angry remembered that she did not have any dry bread crumbs (ströbröd) with which Swedes like to coat the pan. Being a resourceful nurse, she found flour to be a wholesome American substitute.

Grating the beets made Nurse Angry sorely regret that she had gotten rid of her Magimix, bought in the Harrods sale of 1988. She can only hope it found a good home.

If you use the word "ecological" instead of "organic" when visiting your home country you will feel stupid, and rightfully so

The next stumbling block was the inclusion of vanilla sugar (vaniljsocker), a Swedish vanilla-flavored powdered sugar, sometimes made with real vanilla, sometimes not (read the dang label). Nurse Angry is in principle against this ingredient, preferring vanilla extract, but today threw caution to the wind and dumped in a teaspoonful.

Next, Nurse Angry discovered to her horror that the only cardamom in the house was in pod form. Out with the mortar and pestle, time to crack and grind. These were hands down the day’s most tedious minutes.

After that Nurse Angry found that the recipe included only one teaspoon of baking soda for a rather voluminous amount of batter. Drawing on her extensive memories of making carrot cake in the 80’s, she consulted The Joy of Cooking and threw in a teaspoon of baking powder too, hoping against hope that there was no chemical explanation for the lack of baking powder in the Swedish recipe.

Fit for human consumption?

Nurse Angry knows that people like to credit the moistness of certain baked goods to the  inclusion of carrots, zucchini, or other unmentionables. But she suspects that grotesque amounts of canola oil* in the batter may have something to do with it. It’s healthy, trust her, she’s a nurse.

Whip together a cream cheese frosting and… voila.

If you ask for decorating help from a three-year old, this is how ALL your cakes will look for the foreseeable future.

Anyone know where in Stockholm Nurse Angry can find tiny marzipan beets to put on her next beetcake? What? Make them herself?

* The name “canola” was derived from “Canadian oil, low acid” in 1978. Wiki me!