Archives for category: toilet paper

Continuing on the Invincible Viking theme: “dumb” they are not, in any way. Swedes are highly intelligent communicators, and they’re willing to risk their lives to exercise their right to use their mobile devices.

Nurse Angry’s keen eye has observed that Stockholmers of all ages, shapes and sizes are pretty much incapable of doing anything without a smartphone in one hand, either fiddling with it or, just as likely, yakking away. Here are the 10 most popular activities no longer possible for an urban Swede to perform without a phone:

10. Walking a dog or just walking on the street (with or without human company)

9. Driving a car

8. Riding a bike

7. Pushing a baby carriage

6. Eating in a restaurant

5. If you’re 8 or older, going to school without an iPhone 6 is a major faux pas in the Swedish capital

4. Hanging out at the playground with the kid(s)

3. Paying at a store

2. Using the bathroom (there’s a fair chance of finding an abandoned phone in pretty much any bathroom, public or private – it seems that 2 hands may be needed to rip off toilet paper or button up pants. Nurse Angry humbly leaves this to your imagination.)

1. (Nurse Angry’s personal favorite) These brave new superhumans are now fully capable of navigating, steering and brakingĀ  bicycles of all types with one hand while holding a phone to their ear with the other. Even with a toddler on board. Or when pregnant. Or over 85 years of age.

No headsets necessary for these badass uberpeople!

FYI: if you are biking behind someone who’s riding slowly and swerving around like they’ve swigged down most of a bottle of aquavit, not to worry: they’re just writing a text.

Nurse Angry has so far not seen anyone using their phone at a workout class. Well, just once she saw a woman manically texting during spinning. But in Nurse Angry’s humble opinion it was a pretty boring class, and technically it counts as riding a bike, even if it’s not moving and you’re being blasted with EDM.

What will the Swedes do for their next trick?

Nurse Angry found herself speechless with surprise and moved nearly to tears one early morning when she spotted this deft and cheeky work of bathroom art in her own home. The thoughtful creator had probably used more energy tearing the toilet paper with such care as to leave 3/4 of a piece than he/she would have used by getting out a new roll.

So Nurse Angry asks you: who says teenagers are lazy?20130517-153521.jpg

Nurse Angry has noted a new trend in toilet habits among the young. She calls it the iFlush. It should actually be called the iDontflush but that is a cumbersome epithet. The iFlush is what happens when folks go into the bathroom and sit a spell with their computer or other device of choice. Nurse Angry doesn’t have an opinion about what people do in there or how long they do it, but she does not appreciate the iFlush. And between you and Nurse Angry she actually calls it something unprintable.